Lessons Learned-When Did OK Sign Become A Hate Symbol?

Happy Wednesday Everyone!

So...I learned something today that I was totally clueless about. Remember the OK sign/symbol that used to mean something was good to go...thumb to index finger with other three fingers in the upward position? Most often the hand signal was used when a person was not within range of someone to hear it said vocally. Well there will be no more of that.

An article from USA Today popped up in my Google News Thread with title "Family Outraged after a Universal Character made 'OK' symbol on 6-year-old's shoulder". Oblivious me thought what's so controversial about the OK sign? So I read the article and was dumbfounded. This once used hand sign to tell my mother I acknowledge all the chores you told me to do while gone as she backed out of driveway could now get someone in trouble and they may not even know why.

Turns out the ok hand sign is now recognized as having to do with White Power, White Supremacy, etc. Racism! Another article I read about the evolution of the OK hand sign from acknowledging something to racism shed a little more light on the subject. It appears that the man responsible for the 2019 New Zealand Massacre flashed the OK symbol while in court. Some contribute the use of the OK Symbol to a group called 4chan using it while trolling saying the symbol made a W and a P standing for White Power.

A Jewish Lead Civil Rights Group called Anti- Defamation League maintains an online database called Hate on Display which consits of hate symbols, memes, slogans etc. said to be used by racist and hate groups. The OK hand symbol and others were added to this database which is regularly updated.

Another one added is the "bowl cut". Yes the unflattering haircut that moms gave in the kitchen consisting of a bowl being placed on a kids head and scissors cutting around the outline of the bowl. Hence the name "bowl cut". This hair style was worn by the egregious gunmen who shot and killed 9 African American Church Members in Charleston, SC back in 2015.

The article does state that some symbols in the ADL's database are shortlived but others take on a life of their own or have been used for decades. The bowl cut is a hard one for me to give a whole lot of attention to. A bad haircut had by the scum of the earth doesn't mean every poor kid subjected to his mom's kitchen Barbershop is a racist. Most likely mom either doesn't have the money or won't spend money on a haircut she feels like she can give for free.

I never stopped to think what O.K. may actually mean. I figured it was an acronym for something. The internet says OK is "initials of a facetious folk phonetic spelling, e.g., oll or orl korrect representing all correct, first attested in Boston, Massachusetts, in 1839, then used in 1840 by Democrat partisans of Martin Van Buren during his election campaign, who allegedly named their organization, the O.K. Club, in allusion to the initials of Old Kinderhook, Van Buren's nickname, derived from birthplace Kinderhook, New York."

So next time you think about using the OK symbol to communicate agreement or good to go about something instead maybe just text OK, yell real loud or nod your head. Everything thing else is to complicated.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/10/01/universal-orlando-resort-fires-despicable-me-actor-after-ok-symbol/3791483002/

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2019/09/26/anti-defamation-league-adds-ok-hand-gesture-hate-symbol-database/3772950002/

Balance

I have been going to school for the last eight years.  Bachelors degree 2008; Masters degree 2012.  In the last year the masters program had me bogged down and overwhelmed.  My husband stepped in and carried the load of cooking, cleaning, etc.  Now that school is done the roles are slowly moving back to how they used to be.

I almost feel like I've been out of pocket for so long I don't know how to put myself back into it.  My children are children they want everything and you want to give them everything.  As adults we know that it is not healthy for the child or the parent to give everything.

I think one of the biggest issues that families are faced with is balance.  What is too much?  What is too little?  My first child has perfect dental hygiene never having a cavity.  My second child is a dental nightmare.  Miss a day of work to take him to the dentist to address this big gaping hole in his second molar. The mommy guilt kicks in and one feels like not enough attention was paid.

No, we were too busy thinking about bed times, homework, what is for dinner, does the house need cleaning, did the bill get paid, is there enough money in the bank to cover the air conditioner that is going to need to be fixed, is my work getting done at work so I don't lose my job, are my kids getting enough attention that they won't grow up and say mommy didn't pay attention to me?

OMW (Oh My Word)!  Where is one to find balance in all that chaos?  How is one person to carry that load and still function?  Super Mom I am not......love my children I do.

Red Rag Top......

It’s amazing the things that we remember in life.  Why does one moment in time stick with us so much more than others.  I still remember her name.....I still remember his name.  My roommate and her boyfriend from when I was younger.  She had gotten pregnant and decided to have an abortion.  Another girl and myself went off on our self righteous tangent about how we would never do such a thing. 

This morning in the car (where I have all my life changing thoughts LOL ) a song by Tim McGraw came on.  Red Rag Top....so we did what we did .......the lyrics just finally reached me.  He’s talking about an abortion  At that very moment I thought of her.....I wondered if you really do what you do and try to forget.  I wondered if you ever really do forget.  I think it’s true that if you wonder to much about what might have been you’ll drive yourself crazy. 

I’ve been divorced and remarried.  I have had a child with a man I wasn’t married to.  I tend to walk down memory lane sometimes and wonder what I could have done different.  If I had made a different choice would my daughter know her father.  I didn’t make that choice.....he did.  Now it’s 14 years gone past....and maybe 14 years too late.  Who’s to say but her?

I talked to him last week and he’s still stuck in yester year.  You can’t undo what you have done....you can only begin anew today.  That lesson can’t be taught only realized. 

I’m happy in the life that I’ve been led to.  Not so happy about some of the decisions that I made along the way to get here.  However, Jesus paid for my sins and I try to do the best I know to do. 

Husband, Daughter, Son, Me.......I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Red Rag Top.....Tim McGraw

“So we did what we did and we tried to forget,

And we swore up and down there would be no regrets”

“Well you do what you do

And you pay for your sins

And there’s no such thing as

What might have been

That’s a waste of time

Drive you outta your mind”

More Coffee Please.....

It is too early in the morning to have any thoughts worthy of print.  My significant other hits the floor running when he awakens.  An hour and a half and 2 cups of coffee later I'm still trying to pry my eyelids open.  Trying to get geared up for another day of work and another day of life.  Thank God I have both to get ready for.  In our possible double dip recession I'm blessed to have them.

I try and follow the news when it comes to all this unemployment, recession, stock market falling, etc. but its too much.  I think I'm the average American.  I just want to go to work and earn my check.  What would I do with my day if I didn't have a job to go to?  I don't really know.  I can't give some clique answer that I would enjoy the simple things in life, spend more times with my kids, and work on things I never get to work on.  That's just naive, actually, in my opinion, just dumb.  You can't do anything in life without money and I don't do credit cards. 

I love when the news tries to make something look more horrible then it really it is.  There is a wreck on the major interstate this morning.  A bad wreck.  Two tractor trailers hit each other, caught on fire, and materials are all over the road.  The traffic is flowing behind the news girl and shes like well sometimes it backs up then its fine.  I'll find out in about 45 minutes when I go attack morning rush hour. 

Loving Someone

"And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries."

My rock feels pain and my island has a heart.  The words of Simon and Garfunkel are thought provoking but sad.  I heard this song for the first time on an easy listening radio station the other day.  It made me think of my husband and the relationship that we have.  He is my rock and he carries a heavy load. 

I've been in a fog lately.  Not really sure how to shake it off.  I can feel it lingering there.  Its like something just isn't clicking quite right in my mind.  My thoughts drift and its hard to focus on the task at hand.  Hence the marathon of Family Ties on Netflix today. 

Take a deep breath and try to concentrate.

You Know Me.....

A little over 14 years ago I met the father of my daughter.  Over the years we have talked off and on....most often when I get mad about something and call to figure out exactly what his problem is.  Two days ago was the first time I was actually able to speak like an adult to him.  I was able to put my hurt that I like to carry around on the back burner and be the bigger person.  (That is only by the grace of God). 

He said something to me that has been going over and over in my head.  "You know me "my name here".  That totally just threw me.  "No, I don't know you" was my response.  "You were a boy I knew 14 years ago and I'm not the same girl you knew".

It baffles me how some people stand still while others move forward.  We are both in our mid thirties.  I have had 3 careers, finished my degree, almost finished a Masters degree, been married, divorced, remarried and had three kids.  He still lives at home with his parents and has had multiple jobs here and there. 

I think we as women are forced to either move forward and make the best of things or sit still, struggle, and collect hand outs.  I chose to move forward. 

A Plan

Does anyone plan ahead anymore?  If you were to pass tomorrow would your family be provided for?  Would you have a plan for how you would want your family taken care of?

In our family the two monarchs from both sides have severe health issues.  One suffers from a brain injury and the other from a lifetime disease that impairs mobility.  The men are the providers and the primary care takers of these women.  If something were to happen to either of the patriarchs is there a plan?  This is the discussion my significant other decided to have at 6am this morning

We both come from blue collar working families.  Neither one of our families were prepared.  When my mom had her accident her livelihood was taken.  She will never be able to go back to work.  My significant other’s father lost his retirement when the company he had worked for went belly up.  I think the very thought of such a thing happening to us would send Mr. Over Planning into a full blown anxiety attack. 

So, how does someone like me who plans for nothing and lives in the moment compensate for that lacking behavior?  Answer:  Cognitive thinking and classical conditioning.  There is no known cure.    

I think about planning for the future.  I want to retire, travel, spend time with my kids, and the other stuff in life.  However, the discipline it takes to put a plan in place and then stick to it fails me.  If you want something in life you can’t only dream about it you have to plan for it.  If I want to travel to England I don’t just hop on a plane and take off.  I need money, passport, a place to stay, etc.  The days of youth and spontaneity have come and gone.  I find that humorous.  When we are teenagers and don’t have a care in the world we want to hurry up and grow up.  I so wish that someone would have told me how fast it passes by.  I wish that someone would have taken the time to help me develop a plan. 

I think about that, right now, at this moment.  I never had anyone help me develop a plan for my life.  My parents used to say go to college but they never helped me figure out how to get there.  All they said is “do something with your life”.  I was 17 years old.  How in the hell was I supposed to know what to do with my life.  AHHHHHH...... the angels are singing in unison.  It only took me 18 years to come to that realization.

My co-worker says that he was a self starter.  His parents always encouraged him to go to college but he planned his path.  However, his sister didn’t have that drive and the parents had to help carry her along the way.  Who knows?